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Retirement Wishes and Retirement Toasts

That Can Be Used for Retirement Parties 

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Here are the top-10 retirement wishes according to the How to Retire Happy Website to go along with the various retirement quotes and retirement sayings as well as the funny retirement poems:

#1 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May you pursue what you truly want out of retirement, and not what others want you to pursue or what other retirees are pursuing.

 #2 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement be like the experience of a kid being out of school for the summer - but the summer never ends. This is best attained by following the principles of The World's Best Retirement Book.

#3 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement allow you to do what you don’t like as little as possible and what you like as much as possible just as my retirement plan allows me to do.

#4 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement allow you the freedom to become more enlightened, to realize that before you climb over the side of the fence to where the grass appears greener, that it's much easier and satisfying to water your side of the fence first! 

#5 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement allow you to go to the museum every day of the week and spend at least 4 hours starring at Picassos, Renoirs, and Rembrandts.

#6 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement be one where you get to be a role model for future baby boomer retirees by showing that you can add shape and meaning to your life by partaking in interesting leisure activities, creating social networking opportunities, and adding the "spiritual element" to retirement.

#7 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You 

May your retirement allow you to pay much more attention to your
health, keeping in mind that health should rank not only as high,
but higher, than your job, your favorite TV show, your house, and
your car. 

#8 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement be such that you indulge in interesting a
satisfying retirement activities that connect you to all that is bigger
than you. 

#9 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

May your retirement allow you to live your life and forget your age as well as to retire rich but die broke after you have made your retirement speech.

#10 of My 10 Retirement Wishes for You

Jack, may your retirement allow you to pursue your life time goal which is to break into the house of the bastard who broke into yours.


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More Retirement Wishes and Retirement Toasts

Rewired for Retirement!

May you get a chance to wear this T-shirt that says "Gone Hunting - Retirement Rocks!" often.

May your retirement plan be such that you don't have to ask yourself, " How much do I need to retire?"

RETIRED: Don't underestimate the luxury of being able to do nothing when you want to.

May you be able to go a whole year without having to use an alarm clock.

Life is mostly froth and bubble.
Two things stand like stone:
Dodging duty at the double,
Retiring and leaving work alone.
— Unknown Retiree

May your being retired connect you to all that is truly you and much bigger than this organization ever was.

May your early retirement be one of discovery - new found time, new found freedoms, new interesting routines, and renewed appreciation of what life is really about.

May your retirement plan be as exciting and interesting as my retirement plan.

You were given three special gifts when you were born: The gift of life, the gift of love, and the gift of laughter. May your retirement allow you to share these gifts with the rest of the world  - and have the rest of the world play merrily with you.

In your thirty-nine years with our organization, Eric, you have used up two truck loads of paper, sent out 1,600 reports, used up 1,800 pens and pencils, and, of course, told at least 10,000 retirement retirement jokes to lighten up the day for your co-workers. How much money you have made for the organization is in doubt, however, according to the Human Resources Department. But the rest of us don't care because you were such a great person to work with.

May your retirement wind up such that you wouldn’t trade your situation for anything else - bar none!


From Scott Burns, Retirement Columnist


Retirement Book - How to Retire Happy Image

While all that retirement money that may go to worthy causes - such as making their Mercedes payments, providing their children with beautiful teeth that glow in the dark and liberating their expensive wine from its glass prison so it can find its way back into the water supply  our best defense is to remember that life isn't just about money.

The latest retirement book in this realm is How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get From Your Financial Adviser by Ernie J. Zelinski. This book follows on his earlier The Joy of Not Working, whose title gives you an idea of his central theme.

Trust me  there are books about investing and personal finance that are far more complicated. But few are more accessible, useful and meaningful.

 Scott Burns, Retirement Columnist
Dallas Morning News



Retirement Plan Book Image Logo's #1 Retirement Book  . . . 

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free is so rich with retirement wisdom, including a chapter about where to retire, and has such immense power to change lives, that it now appears in's number 1 position  out of over 20,000 listings for retirement-related books  when you type "retirement" or "retire" into's search feature.

   Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free Today: Logo Click Here to Purchase on 

Copyright 2022 by Ernie Zelinski,

All Rights Reserved





OVER 425,000      COPIES SOLD 

A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement, as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.
— Harry Mahtar

The requirements for successful retirements
are, of course, simple to map out: Begin saving earlier in life, set aside larger
percentages of your pay, invest wisely in low-cost funds, avoid debt, pay off
your mortgage, defer Social Security to boost payouts, and work past traditional
retirement age to make sure you don't run out of money. Stay healthy, too, so your medical expenses don't eat you alive.
We might as well complete this fairy tale by advising you to make sure you find a job with a traditional pension, and
to only work for employers with AAA credit
ratings and great health insurance.
— from US NEWS

Sometimes it's important to work for that
pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply
consists of choosing which color to slide
down on the rainbow.
— Douglas Pagels  

OVER 425,000      COPIES SOLD  

How to Retire Happy on


How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free on

Everyone needs a reason to put their shoes on in the morning [when they retire]. If you put on the slippers, you'll end up
dragging your feet all day.
— Norma Fagan


 The World's Second Best Retirement Book at

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 The Joy of Not Working on 

Whatever the challenge of a new age, in the end what really counts is not the years in our lives but the life in our years. It is not about longevity, but the depth of life. Long ago I learned that age does not wither the mind if people remain positive. No one is too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. It is a mind game. As Churchill suggested, "The empires of the future are the empires of the mind."
— Singapore Retiree Jennie Chau



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Career Success       Without a Real Job       on